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I've been driving myself nuts lately think about money.  Trying to make money that is.  Isn't a smart person supposed to be rich?  And shouldn't I be rich by now?

Wealth is the slave of a wise man. The master of a fool.

- Seneca

For the last decade, I've spent most of my free time trying to make more money.  I earned a Masters Degree, I worked as a part time Adjunct Professor, I've worked on more web sites and blogs then I can remember right now.  And for what?  To make more money of course.

I'm not sure if it's the Protestant work ethic as demonstrated by my parents and grandparents.  Growing up you were expected to work.  Coming from a family of farmers on both sides, work involved labor from sun up to sun down.  I wasn't fond of this sort of thing.  I wanted to watch TV and play video games or read books.  This lead to some tension as you can imagine.

Work for Work's Sake

Given my previous talent for avoiding work, it's ironic now that I spend so much time working.  It's not the back breaking manual labor of a 20th century farm.  Mostly its typing on a computer.  However, the mental labor and stress is often worse than the manual labor.  Manual labor allows you to release the stress and gives you a good workout.  Sitting in a desk 12 hours a day doesn't do that.

Stress

I was very irritable last weekend.  I kept thinking about my latest project.  I had finished the first stage and I started thinking about all the work I had yet to do.   The usual stress relievers like playing with my son and watching movies weren't working.  I was getting more tense.  Then I realized that the pursuit of wealth is ridiculous.

Epiphany

The moment you don't care about wealth, you are wealthy.  I believe Seneca said something like this but I can't find the quote right now.  Actually he said "He who has made a fair compact with poverty is rich."

I'm reading Walden now.  You can see the contrast between my actions (lots of work) and my reading (embrace poverty, do without).  I think this was the cause of my distress and eventual epiphany.

You see, I'm coming to understand that happiness has little to do with wealth.  In fact when I started this blog, I intended wealth in the broader sense of health, happiness and financial security.  However, at the time I was also intent on becoming financially wealthy.

Am I Giving Up?

No.  I'm not giving up.  However, up until this point, I've engaged in other people's projects.  I've not been that interested in them.  I completed them as best I could.  I've even completed some other projects that I've originated myself.  However, I didn't really believe in them, I was just doing them with the intent to get rich.

On Belief

How many people believe in what they are doing?  This sounds like something social workers or artists do.  But I think in the modern world, we have the luxury of finding fulfilling work.  Work that we find interesting and satisfying and that hopefully provide us with financial reward.

I'm starting work on a new project that I've been interested in for some time.  It combines some of my interests, economics and science with my talents, programming and web development.  I'm not starting the project with the intention of becoming rich (though there is the possibility).  I'm undertaking this project as a means of fulfillment.

Tags    Happiness    Making Money    Wealth

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